Choices
Retreat
Opening
Sequence
The
first few activities are very important for building the foundation of the retreat.
In the opening session you must seek to accomplish a number of objectives. The
opening sequence then can move into the first talks in which the theme of the
retreat is introduced.
Objectives:
By the end of the opening sequence participants should be able to
- Know the rules
of the retreat and the behavior expected of them
- Know each other's
names and a little bit about each participant
- Belong to a small
group for discussion throughout the retreat
- Begin working
on the Secret Prayer Partner Project
Activity
#1: Prayer Service
Begin the retreat
in prayer with the participants. The shape of this prayer depends on the resources
available such as time, clergy, location, and so on. Ideally this will take
place in the Church with clergy who will bless the proceedings. The minimum
should be no less than singing "O Heavenly King" (or similar, depending
on the season). Likewise, each session should open and close with prayer.
Activity
#2: Breaking the Ice
This is a series
of activities to warm up participants and bring them closer together. These
are typically games, songs, and other potentially uncomfortable situations for
the shy and self-conscious adolescent or adult. The idea of the "ice-breaker"
is to engage that discomfort and shyness and use its energy to get beyond it,
to break through it. These warm-ups should take one half-hour. Two successful
activities that reflect the idea of choices are the following Name Game and
Human Knot Game.
- Name Game:
Form a circle with all participants, young and old. Coordinator begins by
stating his or her name and something that they brought with them which also
begins with the same letter as their first name. Example: "My name is
Peter and I brought a pillow," or, "My name is Paul and I bring
patience." The thing does not have to be concrete (as in "patience")
nor does it have to be exactly true (Peter could have said "petunias"
for a laugh), since the point is to make a connection with that person and
their name. The next person must begin by saying the name and thing of every
person who has gone before them. For example, Mary beings her turn by looking
back to Peter and Paul saying, "This is Peter. He brought a pillow. That's
Paul and he brought patience," and then she adds, "And I'm Mary
and I brought a mystery!" This list grows with each person until it returns
to the first person (the coordinator) who must recite the entire group. This
activity is very good for getting to know everybody's names and a little something
about personalities. It also indirectly deals with what types of choices we
make as individuals and how they relate to the choices of others.
- Human
Knot:
Depending on the number of participants, form into circular groups of 8-10.
Each person in each group must reach out and take the hands of two different
people that are not immediately next to them. Without anyone letting go of
anyone's hands, the group must untangle itself and form a circle again, so
that the people they are holding on to are now next to them. This requires
cooperation and teamwork and a wise exercise of choice on the part of the
group. Occasionally what emerges are two interlocked smaller circles, like
two links of a chain, which is also symbolic.
Activity
#3: Rules Talk
This is the time
to lay down the rules of the retreat clearly and concisely so as to avoid any
problems down the road. Each situation will dictate its own specifics, such
as what areas are off-limits, what times for lights out, what is expected for
behavior and dress and so on. In addition, for a successful Choices Retreat,
there are a few basic principles to follow:
- Honesty: This
retreat involves a lot of talking with each other, especially about each other's
lives and personal choices. While participants are not expected to share every
detail of their lives, nor should they feel compelled to, what they do share
should be honest and truthful.
- Respect: In order
for honesty to work, other participants must show courtesy and respect by
allowing each participant to speak freely, without fear of criticism or judgement.
Participants must agree to be able to disagree. Also, what is shared in the
retreat is not for public consumption but is to be respected as private. It
is not to be discussed outside the discussion group setting without the consent
of the relevant participants.
- The Golden Rule:
Lastly, as with all of Christian life, our actions are to be governed by Christ's
teaching to "Do to others what you would have them do to you." Participants
should treat each other with all the same care and kindness that they want
for themselves.
The Rules Talk is
also a time to officially recognize the retreat coordinator and those in charge
who can answer any questions about food, first aid, phones, scheduling, transportation,
etc.
Activity
#4: Secret Prayer Partner Project
This can be introduced
in conjunction with the rules talk or later, as long as it is part of the opening
sequence. There should be at least one person in charge of coordinating this
activity and keeping the track of whose partner is whose.
- Before the retreat,
gather the names of all participants who will be present for the entire weekend.
Adults may be a part of the project but you must ensure their ongoing participation
throughout the retreat. Also, occasionally someone will have to leave before
the closing session. This person can only participate in a limited fashion.
- Once everyone
has played the name game and has a rough idea of who everyone else is, past
out small pieces of paper with another persons name on it, picked at random
from a hat. Explain that these names should be kept secret for the time being.
Those who pick themselves must pick over.
- The coordinator
should go through and record in a notebook (to be kept secret!) whose partner
is whose. This list may change and will likely be modified as people come
and go.
Explain that the
name they picked is now their secret prayer partner. Their job during the course
of the retreat is to
1. Prayer for that
person;
2. Find out more
about that person and get to know them as well as possible;
3. To find in the
Bible a verse that expresses something about them.
Don't tell them what
exactly they will have to do with this verse and this person at this time!
- When the time
comes to find the verses, usually during free time or during time you especially
assign for it, you will need a number of bibles available, preferably ones
with concordances. The Orthodox Study Bible has one that is useful, though
you will need some bibles with the Old Testament. Show them how to use concordances
and make a few adults available to guide them in the Scriptures. A good approach
is to take a word that describes one of the person's best traits and to find
it is the Bible. Have a thesaurus on hand and be ready to look for synonyms.
- Prayer Partners
should record the verse along with the name of their person and a brief explanation
as to why they chose that verse. It is exceptionally nice to have these written
on a keepsake such as an icon card.
- These will be
exchanged during the closing session when the secret prayer partners will
be revealed. Until then, the project coordinator needs to make sure that everyone
has finished the project and everyone who will be at the closing will receive
a "prayer" from a secret partner. This activity will look and feel
like the human knot for the coordinator who has to know who is connected to
whom so that by the end there is one complete circle.
Activity
#5: Establishing the Groups
Small group discussions
are the core of the Choices retreat. Before moving into any of the talks, it
is necessary to select groups and be clear about what is expected of them. This
section outlines the basic format for group discussions and dynamics.
- Selection Process:
To begin this talk, you need to arrange participants into groups of 5-7. Groups
should be selected at random on the spot or previously. These groups will
remain the same throughout the retreat. If there is a serious personality
conflict in a group or too much distraction for whatever reason feel free
to reassign members as needed. You will also need to keep track of who is
in what group.
- Leaders: Each
group will need its own leaders(s). You should find out who some of the most
mature participants are ahead of time and approach them about taking on this
responsibility. The task of the group leader is simple:
- Initiate the
group discussions and keep the group focused enough to accomplish each
assignment.
- Make sure
that the results of each discussion are recorded (written down) and ready
for presentation to the large group made up of all retreat.
- Make sure
that every member of the small group is able to speak openly and no one
person dominates the conversation, including him or herself.
- Discussions: Each
small group discussion lasts about 15 minutes. Following each talk by the
retreat coordinator(s), the small groups will be given a number of discussion
questions. The first few questions are design to spark dialogue about the
issues raised in the talk/session and the last is a reflection question in
which the group as a whole is called upon to apply the ideas to a specific
problem or challenge.
- Location: These
small group discussions should take place in private far enough away from
any other group to avoid eavesdropping and distraction. Each group will likely
stake out its own territory on the retreat grounds nearby where they will
go to carry out their discussions.
- Report: After
the private discussions, each group must choose a spokesperson to report their
conclusions to the general retreat. This spokesperson should be different
for each session so that every member takes a turn. The group leader should
take this job no more than once.
- Assembly Format:
When all groups arrive back from small group discussions, each will take a
turn to respond to the reflection questions given by the retreat leader. Groups
remain seated together in a semi-circle facing the retreat master.
- Group Name: Each
group should develop an identity, often symbolized in a name. You may decide
to let each group choose their own name or assign one. A nice option would
to have each group select a patron saint for their name. This conveniently
limits the options yet allows for creative expression, and of course, returns
the focus to the Holy.
Once groups are established
you may proceed directly to Part II: Expectations Talk.
Notes on
running the small group discussions
- Start-off: Once
groups are formed and together they are ready to immediately go into the first
discussion. For each talk the group leader have a copy of the talk's instructions.
Groups should split off to separate locations and follow those guidelines,
returning after about 15-20 minutes. Each participant should also have a notebook/
journal book and pencil/pen. They will need to use these throughout the retreat.
Announce this so that they make sure they do not misplace them.
- Progress checks:
You may want to wander from group to group during these time to note progress
as well as get to know them. Make this regular but not intrusive. If they
seem stuck or have finished to quickly, prompt them to further discussion
with more questions, sharing examples from your own life as necessary. You'll
need to be familiar with the group leader instructions yourself, of course.
If they have completed the questions sufficiently, feel free to allow them
the remaining few minutes to get to know one another better, this will increase
openness later on.
- Arranging the
Space: While the groups are away the first time, this is a good time to arrange
the space for the large group discussion. Depending on your situation, the
space and the furniture, you should arrange the room such that each group
stays together and is facing towards the retreat master. No one should be
seated with their backed turned to the central speaker. A semi circle of table
works this way. It is important to establish a focused space with minimal
potential for distraction. Finding the right space is often a challenge, and
you will have to make do with whatever God grants. Do what you can.
- Debrief: Whenever
the groups return to the main meeting area (you may have to gather the flock
with some effort), begin by restating the reflection question. Ask each group
to put forward their spokesperson to give the main group their reflections.
Then discuss as a whole the ideas and issues raised, using example from your
life to illustrate them whenever possible or practical. This period of "debriefing"
the small groups is essential to the group talks.
