Choices
Talk 2: God's Way or My Way?

Objectives:

• Identify and define the concept of synergy as the model for our relationship with God.
• Recognize the different roles that we play and how we hide our true selves from God and each other. Identify relationships where we need to be more honest.
• Explore beliefs about what God's will is for us.

Activity: Song

The song for this session should be related to being true to one's self and God, and also seeking God's will for us.

Activity #1: Discovering Synergy

Ask participants to think of as many words that begin with the letters "syn-" and "sym-." Record these in journals and on the board (if available). Then ask for a simple definition of each. Here is a list of good terms:

• Synchronize: to be together in time
• Synonym: a word that shares the same meaning
• Synthesize: to bring together
• Synagogue: assembly, a place to come together
• Symphony: harmony or "togetherness" of sound
• Sympathy: to share the same feeling, "togetherness" of feeling
• Symmetrical: balanced, side by side, orderly

The key idea in each of these terms is "togetherness." God wants our life to be like this. The way in which we live should be in Synergy, that is, working together, with God and with each other. He gave us freewill so that we could really and truly work together. Give an example of a choice that required you to act in synergy with God or with another.

If God did not want us to live our life with Synergy, there would be two basic options for understanding Christian life:

• Puppets: we would be puppets of God's will, under His complete control and more like robots than human beings. This implies that when people go to Heaven or Hell it would be only because God willed it, since we cannot responsible for our actions, good or bad.
• Loners: we would be left alone to do everything without any help from God. We would have to save ourselves and wouldn't need God, and Christ would have died on the Cross in vain.

Maybe you have heard these ideas before. They are actually quite common. But to be a Christian means that we reject both these unpleasant options and seek to live working with God. Give an example of a time when you felt like God was in control or when you felt all alone and realized that it wasn't the case.

What Christ teaches us is that GOD IS ALWAYS RIGHT BY OUR SIDE, WALKING WITH US TOGETHER THROUGH LIFE, READY AND ABLE TO HELP US, SUPPORT US, AND GUIDE US. Our will and His will act in Synergy.

If available, share with participants the popular "Footprints" poem. Have them reflect in their journals about a time in which they felt abandoned by God but were carried by Him in that time of difficulty. For a more advanced group, study the account of the Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, Matthew 26:36-46.

Activity #2: The Masks We Wear

In order for us to work together with God, we have to be truly free, as we have seen. But we must also be true to ourselves. If we are not being our true selves we are not truly free nor are we the ones really working with God. This can be one of the hardest challenges in being a Christian: to really be yourself. In fact, this is often where we need God's help the most. Give an example of a time you were afraid to be yourself and needed God's help.

GOD WANTS ME TO BE WHO I REALLY AM, WHO HE CREATED ME TO BE.

Sometimes we are told that to be true to ourselves is to do things that seem contrary to God's will for us. Things get "sticky." It is hard to be sure as to both 1) what is our true self; and 2) what is God's will for us. Give an example of time in which you were unsure about either. Ask for other examples from participants.

It may seem strange, but the Church is actually there to help us with these questions. In Church we learn not only what God's will is for us, but we are also challenged to have to face up to who we are. Give an example of a time when the Church challenged you to discover something about yourself you didn't recognize. Ask for examples.

Most of the time, we go through life wearing masks and playing roles. Life is treated more like a TV show than reality. We might play different roles for different people and different situations. Give and ask for examples.

Very often there are two different types of masks we wear. Demonstrate this with a pair of the classic "thespian/ harlequin" masks, where one is smiling or laughing and the other is frowning or crying. Some of the time we puffed up and larger than life. Other times we feel small and deflated and weak.

Close your eyes and imagine now that you are donning the mask of a larger-than-life version of yourself. Take a moment with each of the following questions. After, record them in the journals.

• What do you look like? Sound like?
• What kind of things do you do and say?
• What kind of choices do you make?
• How do you relate to others when you play this role? To God?

Now take that mask off and put it aside. Imagine instead now that you are putting on the mask of the "lesser-than-life" deflated, down-on-yourself-self. Again, take time with each question and have participants record their observations.

• What do you look like? Sound like?
• What kind of things do you do and say?
• What kind of choices do you make?
• How do you relate to others when you play this role? To God?

Now take off that mask and look at both in your mind's eye.

• How do they differ?
• How are they alike?
• How do both masks limit your freedom and cover up your true self?

Discuss the results of this reflection, giving examples. Come to the following point:

WHEN I PUT ON MY MASKS I ISOLATE MYSELF FROM GOD AND FROM OTHERS—AND FROM MYSELF. Ask for examples of how this is true.

If we want to be free to be ourselves, we have to recognize when we are not being true to ourselves, to others, or to God. But if all we see are these negatives, we may be fooled into thinking that we really are those things. Give examples of the some of the negative ideas about your self are attached to the masks that we wear. Ask for examples.

It is very easy as a Christian to fall into either pride or despair about ourselves. This is why we must again and again return to the fact that God created us in His image and likeness. Our true selves are something very special, very sacred.

How can we know our true selves, the person God created us to be? First we have to accept that because we are created in the image and likeness of God, who is infinite and beyond all words, that even our inner selves are mysterious and infinite. Give an example of how no matter how much you learn about yourself and life, there are still unanswered questions and more to learn.

Every choice we make deepens our life and adds to the mystery of life. Part of being a Christian is to embrace that mystery, being open to the unknown within us, and being able to open up to God on the inside. Give an example. Fr. Roman Braga, a Romanian Priest-Monk who was imprisoned in Communist times for his Christian faith and sentenced to many months in solitary confinement has said that in that hellish place he had two options: to go insane or to find God within himself. He also speaks of the human spirit as an inner universe where God is to be found with joy.

To help us find our true selves the Church provides us with teachers and holy examples, all of whom reflect Christ. They teach us to open our hearts to Christ who can reveal to us our true selves. This is one of the reasons why we have icons in the Church. They teach us in their expressions and peaceful faces something about their true selves who have achieved that synergy with God, the life of the Spirit within us.

They teach us that WHEN WE TAKE OFF OUR MASKS WE CAN ACCEPT THE FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE OF GOD AND THE PEOPLE AROUD US. Give example. Bring out Icon of Christ, play song while holding icon facing participants.

Activity #3: Song:

In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel is very good here.

Activity #4: Group Discussion

Split off into small groups and discuss the song and how it reflects the themes of the talk.

What are some of the Masks that we wear around friends, family, and others? Each person should then make a list of the "masks" that they wear when around certain people in their journals, sharing with the group. They may be of different degrees, some seemingly positive and others negative.

What are some times when we took off our masks and as a result a friendship was made deeper and stronger? After everyone has shared, then each one should make a list of times when those masks came off and a friendship was made deeper or stronger.

Compare the two lists. Is one longer than the other? Where in our relationships are we holding back from being our true selves? Where do we need God's help to be true? Give an example of a current situation like this.

Lastly, how are we holding back or hiding our true selves from God? In what ways do we choose not to be open to God in our lives? Give examples.

We have heard that our true selves are mysterious, unknown, and yet the person God created us to be. Who do I think God wants me to be? What kind of person does God want me to be? Give examples and support each other. These are not easy questions.

Group Reflection: How can we look to Jesus Christ to be who we really are? This could be related to the song as well.

Return to the main group with the answer to the group reflection. Elect a new spokesperson to report your results.

		Department of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministry Orthodox Church in America PO Box 675 Syosset, NY 11791 http://yya.oca.org yyacm@oca.org The Hub | Back to top