Choices
Talk 3: Loving Thy Neighbor

Objectives:

• Recognize some of the ways our choices affect others.
• Discuss our responsibility to others and the importance of working together.
• Connect caring for each other to the themes of the first two talks as a necessary component of the Christian life.
• Introduce Bible study in preparation of completing the Secret Prayer Partner Project.

Activity Song

"On the Turning Away" by Pink Floyd expresses the hardening of the human heart that happens when we turn away from others around us who are hurting or in need. "Bad" by U2 is an extremely poignant song about one soul reaching out to help another and was written in memoriam for a young man who died of a heroine overdose on his 21st birthday. The themes of both songs turn on overcoming isolation and building a bridge of love.

Activity #1: Bible Talk

In the previous sessions we established several principles of Christian living:

• We are created in the image and likeness of God, endowed with free will.
• God wants us to use our freedom to work with him for good in our lives.
• The more we work with God the closer we come to being our true selves.

We would be making a mistake if we thought that the whole story ended there, however. God's plan for us in this life is not only to work with Him or to know our true selves, though these things are good in and of themselves. God also wants all of us to work with each other and help each other in choosing the good. Just as we cannot do it alone without God, neither should we try to do it without taking others into account. Give an example of a time in which you tried to do something without help when you needed it. Ask for examples.

Not only are we supposed to ask for help from others, but we also have to give it. It is easy for us to go along through life thinking that we are being true to ourselves and true to God while at the same time ignoring the needs and sufferings of others. Give an example a time when you failed to help another or even notice their problems.

In our first talk, we asked if there was ever a time we chose not to make a choice. Similarly, we are often faced when we can choose not to get involved and just let someone else solve the world's problems. Do you think this is a choice for Christians? Why? Why not? Discuss.

The Bible gives several teachings on this point. Have each group look up one of the following verses and read it aloud to the group. For each ask for an example of how to apply the teaching to a situation.

• Genesis 2:18: It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him."
• Mark 12:31: "'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"
• Galatians 6:2: "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."
• Romans 15:30: "Now I beg you, through the Lord Jesus Christ, and through the love of the Spirit, that you strive together with me in prayers to God--that I may come to you with joy by the will of God, and may be refreshed together with you."
• John 13:34-5: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
• 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11: "For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing."
• Matthew 5:43-44: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Part of synergy is not only working together with God but also working with and for each other. In fact, how we treat others is the basis for our judgement. Everyone should turn to Matthew 25:31-46. This is the Lord's teaching on the Last Judgement. Then ask the following questions:

• The Lord speaks of judgment coming on those who refused to help, those who turned away from those in need.
  • Have you ever been in a situation in which someone chose to turn away from you?
  • Have you ever been the one who chose to turn away from someone in need? When?
  • Has God ever worked with you to help another person? What was that like?

It is in our relationships with others, whether friends, enemies, or strangers, that our Christian faith and life is tested.

WE ARE NOT HERE JUST FOR OUR OWN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST, BUT TO SHARE THAT RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OTHER PEOPLE.

Turn lastly to Matthew 5:16 and 20:26-28. The Lord's teaching on service and evangelization. Discuss these in relationship to the end song.

Activity: Song

"What you give" by Tesla is about the nature of love: "It's not what you get it's what you give." It is a song about unconditional love. Ironically, the song was inspired by the death of the leader singer's childhood pet dog-- a reminder that it is often difficult to find such love between human beings.

Group Discussion

Split into small groups again. First compare the lyrics of the song to the verse from the Gospels and St. Paul's Epistles.

We have been talking a lot about what it takes to make a good choice in life. We have looked at when and where our choices are not so good. Now it is time to consider and possibly make some choices.

What are some choices I can make today to "let my light shine" and serve my neighbor that I can accomplish during this retreat with God's help? Direct them towards specific, concrete, practical and "realistic" possibilities.

What are some choices I need to make in my life outside this retreat that will make me a better servant of my neighbor with God's help? Again, specific life changes framed in concrete, practical terms are best. Some may "choose not to decide" at this time. That is also a choice.

What am I really willing to commit to? These choices and commitments should be written in journals.

When making a commitment we must always place it in the context of God's will for us. Christ teaches us not to make bold vows or oaths or pledges but to "let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No,' 'No,'" and He even adds, "For whatever more than these is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37) Rather we are called to put our trust in our Lord to help us carry out all our good works. Therefore, we should make every commitment and every choice with a prayer to God for guidance, strength, and help.

If your group members have made some very specific and significant commitments, you may want to pray right now together for God's aid. However, you might also want to wait on this, especially if you are using the outdoor option below and the "Choices Chain" project. These activities will provide participants an opportunity to revisit the choices they are struggling with and commit them to God.

Activity #3 Outdoor Option: The Trees Part I

If you have access to a large outdoor area with a number of leafy trees, especially in the fall, this activity may be for you. Lead the whole group outdoors to a brilliantly colored tree.

In the Fall, trees begin to change colors. Why? See if anyone can explain, if not, here's why: As the temperatures drop and the sunlight fades. The chlorophyll which is in the leaves begin to recede back into the trunk of the tree so that it is kept safe from the frost of winter. What remains behind in the leaf is the "true colors" of the leaf, the pigments that were hidden under the green all along.

Each choice we make is like one of these leaves. Each choice we make reveals to those around us our true colors. A springtime variation of this would use fruit in the way Christ did in Matthew 7:15-18: "A good tree bears good fruit."

• Have you ever made a choice that made it obvious to others what you were thinking or feeling at the time? Were you embarrassed to show your true colors?

Once we make a choice and reveal ourselves, the effects of our choice go out into the world. Likewise, a leaf that loses its green soon falls from the tree, returning to the earth to build back the soil from which it came.

• Have you ever made a choice where the consequences soon got out of your control and effected others in ways you didn't intend?

There are many things that we can learn from trees about life, believe it or not. Christ said that we would be known by our "fruit," using the image of the tree. Adam and Eve fell because they ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The Cross itself is a type of tree, stripped bare and humbled like the Lord who was nailed upon it.

Leave this exercise for a time before returning to Part II of this activity. Part II is given in the next talk session.

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