Department
of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministry
Orthodox Church in America
PO Box 675 Syosset, NY 11791
http://yya.oca.org
yyacm@oca.org
God's
Time
Second Talk: Friendship
Begin by asking the participants to close their eyes and to picture a good friend.
As you pictured your friend, what feelings and thoughts came to mind? Happiness? A smile? Sadness? Love? Security?
I thought of my friend _____ and I felt _____.
Give a personal, concrete example of the person you thought of.
My friends have a unique effect on me. Sometimes they make me feel loved and cared for; at other times they give my life meaning and purpose or they remind me how unique and important I am. My friends are a powerful force in my life. They ease the burdens I sometimes face. They comfort me, help me, cheer me up, and are concerned about me as a person.
Think of the friend you thought of earlier. Write down 3 or 4 things that you consider important in your friendship. (Pause.) I wrote down the following words: trust, commitment, and individuality. I also wrote down that friendship is a gift.
Trust is important in a friendship. I must trust my friends and I must allow my friends to trust me.
Ask participants to offer definitions of trust. Then give an example of trust among friends. Stress the importance of honesty as well.
Commitment is also important in friendship. I am committed to the well being of my friends.
Ask participants for definitions of commitment. Then give an example of commitment that you’ve experienced. How have you looked after the well being of a friend, or how has a friend been committed to your well-being?
The next important element of friendship is individuality. Friendship frees me to be the unique individual I was created to be and it challenges me to appreciate the individuality of others. I respect the individuality of my friends, and I expect them to respect my own individuality. If we are truly friends with someone, we appreciate those things which make him or her unique. Friends don’t try to mold others to fit their needs or expectations. They don’t try to change others for selfish reasons.
Give an example of a person who tried to make you be someone or something you’re not. Give another example of how a friend respected your individuality. Finally, give an example of the individual traits you especially respect in a good friend.
Finally, friendship is always a gift. True friendship is unconditional; it has no strings attached to it. When we were little children, we would always say, “I’ll give you a candy bar if you’ll play with me.” That was not friendship. A loving friendship cannot be bought, earned, or sold. I need to freely accept the gift of friendship.
Give an example or a story of a gift of friendship in your life. Emphasize how you did nothing to “earn” the friendship.
Before I can be a friend to others, I must be a friend to myself. It is impossible to love others unless I love myself. Jesus tells us exactly this when He says that we should love others in the same way that we love ourselves. I am of great worth and value. There has never been anyone like me before, and there will never be another person like me. If I only see the negative things about myself, I will never see the positive side of others.
My individuality is God’s gift to me.
Explain how you came to believe this about yourself.
Friendship, then, is very important to all of us. Without the gift of friendship in our lives, we would never be able to be the unique individuals we were created to be.
Closing Song
|
|
Department
of Youth, Young Adult, and Campus Ministry |
|